Friday, 6 February 2009

For the love of god...

why oh why am I in such a shitty mood. Quite a productive day - got most of the designs I have to get done sent away. Went to the gym ...

Ah yes, it might be this little sojourn that made me quite so furious with life. I put on my shiny new trainers with excitement and found them to be ... just not quite right. I think they're too big - well, the heel managed to grab my socks and pull them under my feet which is NOT normal. I then tied them tighter and tried the elliptical machine instead (1mile 9.40 - on 19 so it works all the legs and level 7 effort); then the running machine where shoes were okay, but not brilliant. My feet just ached a bit. Also - for no good reason my lower back was v v v painful if I even rested my hands on the bar, but if I used my arms (like I should be doing) then it was okay. Again - this is NOT normal. So I slogged out 1 measly mile. (9.15) Then 10min on the arm bike - the usual 2.5miles. Just all sucked a bit. I was also hungry and hadn't fuelled correctly. I bloody hate it when I know what I've done wrong but it's too late to put it right. Just all a bit shite.

I wont even go into my pudding disaster. Jam and low fat rice pudding when you really want CAKE might as well be a bowl of dog food. Pah. Bag humbug. If I could put a lovely big round venting scream down here I would.

However in a bid to do something useful I have finally started crocheting my blanket. I bought the wool eons ago and they are all colours I love but god knows where they'll fit into the house. They don't really. Bugger. But I had a revelation: my crocheting is just like my running. No really. I can tell you're just desperate to hear more. Well, I like to run mindlessly, long distances on nice flat, smooth tarmac make me happy. Hills are a dull necessity, not a break from what some people would see as ultimate tedium. I just really like running at a steady pace for a long way (something which I've been prevented from doing by a plethora of ice and fecking snow - just stop being so goddamn slippery and I'll get out there I promise). I like knitting or crocheting really simple things. No pattern, just slog away in the same stitch for what might be, particularly in the blanket's case, a lifetime. See same basic premise different results. Comforting repetition that requires no thought and acts as a sort of active meditation.

Am going to give my trainers a bit longer before I give up. I've never had achy feet before. I've got 30 days in which to return them, for any reason (even if you've worn them outside- I checked). I hope they feel better before that. I should so have bought the 1/2 size down like normal. None of that squeezing toe crap and 'oh these are *just* long enough' nonsense - they're my fecking feet and I should trust them. Again, I say Bah!

No comments: