What a difference 3 days makes... just 72 little hours

Finally upped the mileage today. 8 miles - the furthest since the 1/2 in training almost 10 weeks ago. I can't believe the difference between today and the 15th. Today was brilliant, really, muscle achingly brilliant. I had my porridge, there were no dogs, it was just me, and Orwell.

Set off well, played around with the route in my head and eventually settled on a weird 6 mile loop, then a 2 mile loop - it worked well.

Splits are as follows:
8 miles
average pace - 9.24
932 calories

9.10
9.19
9.47
9.15
9.40
9.46
8.47
9.24

I'm still not managing the magical "negative splits" since I've attained 9:30 pace. Hell, I suppose these things just take time. I'm delighted with this run though.

My 5k was 29min dead and my 10k was 59min - so I was happy with both of those too!

Feel like a mental weight has been lifted as the jump between 8 and 13 miles no longer feels as difficult. Today I felt like a 1/2 was possible; that's the first time I've felt that in ages. Maybe, ultimately I'm suited to longer distances? Who knows, I know I prefer 10k to 5k ... lets just see how the rest of the training goes before I get too over-excited.

Off to cook enormous Sunday lunch. Mmmmmm - can't wait.

Bloody Awful Run

Worst Run Ever - or that's how it felt.

Managed 4 miles (as I set out to do) but practically had a breakdown half way round as I discovered it's almost impossible to cry and run simultaneously. (There was some horrible choking and wheezing.) Took an unusual route for me - went through the woods on an extremely undulating course (ridiculously hard when used to running on the flat); then back along the road as I was a giant wimp and not coping with the run in any way.

So the splits managed to be:
9.55
9.35
9.42
9.37

total 38:51
average pace 9:39

Which is fine, not great, but fine (said with clenched teeth and aching facial muscles) so I don't really know why I felt so bad. It shouldn't be hormone related (although you never know, they're sly buggers). I can only think that the EAT - wait 2 hours - RUN isn't just a guideline for me, it's a necessity. Today due toTheO fannying around incessantly I had to wait 3 1/2h which made me grumpy as all get-out; and somewhat lacking in energy.

My anger and ridiculous emotional state during the run was not helped by the Little Golden Anchor pulling me along for the two miles back. It wasn't helpful, it was just crap and made me grumpy with her too (which she didn't deserve).

I suppose these days just happen. I was really up for it today too. I just kept thinking I wasn't going to be the fat girl who humiliated herself at the half-marathon by lack of training. I just freaked out - ridiculous!

Well, as promised, I'm back. The work is done (for now), the little parcels are winging their way across the UK to delight happy lovers on Valentine's day. Well, that's the thought that kept me going when on returning from quick trip to Oban (7h in a car is not a profitable use of time)! It was wonderful to see my nephews (3 1/2 and 13months) but not the best of trips; just a bit fraught, the children were fraught, the parents were knackered, we tried to help and therefore returned knackered. Also, with Valentine's coming up the timing suck-eth much-eth.

Today I finally had an outside run, the first for 8 days (disgraceful, I shall whip myself at once). There really is no substitute to outside miles. Managed a respectable 10K in 1:00:22 - don't have any reliable splits as I was just using my watch and doing a run I knew. (Arrrg, those 22 seconds!)

I didn't want to run today - a feeling I really hate. Normally (and this is sad) I get excited at the thought of a run. My problem is that I resent feeling like I should run. I like to be able to go often enough that (if I have to) I can delay a run to the next day. I hate knowing that I have to run or fitness will decline, mileage will become scant, and I'll generally hate myself.

Going out for a slap-up feed tonight as pre-Valentine's dinner means we can sit at home on the actual day and bask in the romantic light of the TV unencumbered by other (and often newly spliced couples trying to be romantic).

As weird Valentine's gifts go I think I might have excelled myself this year. TheO is getting a miniature gong to announce the start/end of parties/dinners/tedious conversations etc... I can't wait to see their face. (No, seriously, they should like it...)

Exercise and Grumps

Today I was both blue and grumpy. (I'll blame the hormones and self-induced stress.)
Exercise happened late in the day as ... toot toot toot tooooot toot (again with the trumpets) I got my hmrc cheque and got the car fixed. So the bank is happier, and the only prob. with the car was a wee bit of welding on the exhaust bracket - not too expensive.

So too much of the day was spent hanging around in town drinking star$'s and freezing my arse off. But this evening I managed 4 miles on the elliptical machine in 38:04 (so 9:31 pace). Obviously wish I'd pushed a wee bit harder and made it 9:30 - buy hey it was on rising intervals and damn hard work. The exercise really helped to even out my mood and I did feel like a whole new woman after the workout. Also felt about 3lbs lighter as I became a weird human puddle after the first 20min (less pleasant).

As for the self-induced stress. I'm sure you can imagine - I make jewellery: valentine's day is fast approaching - you see the obvious link.

Any advice for those unable to get their arse moving some days would be appreciated. I love, love, love what I do but find motivation impossible when faced with daunting tasks. Therefore they get left until they have to be rushed and I feel sick to my stomach; this makes me a tetchy bitch to live with. Feel better just saying it sometimes. Ah well, tomorrow is CRUNCH day.

TheO is off to the rugby and I have hours, and hours, set aside to work and work and work. Have to get it all done as then on Sunday we're off to Oban for the day to meet family. Looking forward to seeing them but wish it wasn't that particular day.

Finished lots of housey things today (you know, the crap no-one blogs about - washing, dishes, blah, blah, blah) but now it's done I can focus all my attention on work tomorrow. About 8 hours should see me clear - shame the dogs are going to have a crap day.

I'll report back when I'm DONE.
Hmm, also have to try getting an 8 mile run in too - this half-marathon isn't going to run itself. (Well, it will, but I need to participate for the sake of all my lovely sponsors.)

Maybe it's time to make an admission:

There's a possibility that after 6 months I might be (shhh, I'll say this quietly) a runner. Not a quick runner, not a record breaking runner, not a marathon runner; but in my own quiet way a runner.

It's so weird that this is something I love doing, something I chose to do, something that makes me feel more alive with every breath. After the age of 15 (when I was on every team and a sporty, if chunky girl) I did no sport. The closest I came was: putting on games kit, walking to the squash court, signing my name, having a fag, and walking back. At uni I went to the gym very sporadically but never did any real cv work. The occasional swim or yoga session have sufficed for the last 10 years - now all that has changed and I don't know why. Is it age, is it time, is it just a weird switch that flicks in the brain of so many 25-35 yearolds'?

------

So, today I only did one mile. And then some gym work - but the one mile was run in 8:27 with a 1% incline. It took looking back through my log to realise that this is literally my fastest ever mile. I know it's a word I overuse but I was properly chuffed - that one mile was a real marker of how much my running has progressed in the last 6+ months.

The rest of me enjoyed the gym too - it was good to get all the muscles going again. Even did 10mins on the step machine at the end - that turned me into some sort of human puddle and made the calves burn - I hope they appreciated it.

Ah, feeling the buzz and the burn today.
Car still sounds like crap (possibly more metallic and clunky than crap).
I've finally tracked down my eye drops so the delightful demon pink is going to subside.
Didn't get the work done - and the deadlines are really LOOOOMING
Still no cheque from hmrc ...

Bah and Hummmmbug

So, after the elation comes the drop.
Damn f'ing hormones have put me into a slumpy slump.
This will, of course, pass as suddenly as it has arrived. But while it's here my world does not look rosy. This is not aided by waking up with an eye infection (how random is that?); my car sounding like someone has poured a bag of spanners into the engine; and going all the way into town (9 mile drive) and back only to discover that I forgot the eye infection clearing cream that I went to buy in the first place! Not even a trip to the green goddess (Starbucks) cheered me fully.

So, the brain is addled, the pain in nestling helpfully in my lower back, and I am cranky. I thought burdening my blog readers would be the next, best, course of action. But tomorrow will be a better day. I have plans: plans to get some work done, plans to go to the gym and follow new Runners World instruction to only do 12 reps (sounds blissful), plans that the hmrc tax rebate cheque will arrive and my state of penury will subside a smidgin; plans not to go shopping instantly and return myself to the penniless state just to feel the momentary rush of a good shop.

Okay, I think I might have to calm myself and stop being paranoid - I keep wondering if the extra buzz of being pmt-ish made me run faster a few days ago? Hmmm, or did it make me more competitive and therefore push myself harder? I wonder what the hormones do to us while running - there must be books and books on this subject.

Before I rant and rave (or cry and wail depending on the exact moment in time) any more I am going to try and go to bed, with a hot water bottle, and a dog. Wish me luck for tomorrow - I've got all the work in the world to get through (and no real desire to get it done).

Before I get on with some work today I've got to wax lyrical about the weekend.
This weekend should go down in history as one of the BEST EVER.

Friday a whole bunch of friends came up and belatedly celebrated by bday. This obviously involved gifts and was generally wonderful. We had oriental banquet which was damn good fun to cook. (From a running perspective gifts included some 1000 mile socks - which I've tried and are amazing, and a wrist cuff which not only stones key/cash but has a flashing light on it for darker runs - brilliant!)

Saturday a few more stragglers joined us and we went Clay Pigeon Shooting for the first time ever. Apart from the first shot when the gun kicked the crap out of me it was the most fun you can have while standing up. (My view of this might be aided by the fact that for some unknown reason I rocked at it.) TheOther and I came top of our respective teams so there was some hidden and ridiculous coupley pride going on. We returned home to have tea with cakes and mini sandwiches and huge pots of tea.

Sunday morning went for a run, ran with jewellery girl (she loves unusual jewellery and statement pieces) for the first time. She was lovely to run with as she is faster than me and pushed me but was happy to slow her pace when she saw I might be dropping back a little (blessssss).

The run was:
10k at the usual woods.

pace 9.28
calories 792

9.25
9.22
9.15
9.33
9.33
9.40
1.52

Total: 58:43 - best time ever.....

previous best 1.01.08
so 2min 25seconds off previous best (which was Dec 21nd).

Am delighted with this run (particularly as I don't feel bad this morning either) as I've finally cracked that one hour barrier for 10k. But I do know that where I run is on the flat and any hills quickly eat up those extra seconds.

Recovery was a huge roast Sunday lunch before everyone headed home. Blissful.

Arrgg, have to get off to work now as Valentine's is coming up and there's stuff to be made.