Reasons I couldn't blog for so long.

1. I'm lazy and got stuff done at home rather than updating my beloved reader. (Hell, if you care so damn much about my updates you'd follow my twitter, I mean, dude!) Even some work got done, really, work.

2. I filled the days with stuff so dull (dog walks etc) that blogging about it would have depressed me. Also eating, and no one needs to hear about that. (Cake, cake, cake, cake, icecream, chocolate, cake, cake ... maybe a biscuit.)

3. For the last 4 days I've been on the island with MaYa and her brood. That leaves a little less time than usual to blog. Ok, no time. I've even managed to bathe far less than I would usually due to time constraints. That and being knackered and going to bed at 11pm at the latest.

However since we last communed on t'tinternet I've managed a few runs (I think). A shocking 2.5 miler in the gym which was rubbish. And a stonking 14 miler that made me seriously reconsider my marathon plans. I mean really,  what do I have to prove? Can I be arsed? Why the feck did I sign up in the first place? Am I just a quitter? Why spend so much time running?

The 14 miler was quite good really. Too slow for my liking but not as bad as it could have been given the multiple hills (added in another 2 for good measure) and the terrible head wind.

I've also continued with my BIG IDEA and discussed it with a v enthusiastic RF over a lovely supper at theirs. Their dog really is delightful and I would take him home, especially as my grumpy dog still adores him, even though he has no bollocks now.

Now whilst the 'phews are a culture shock. Really, if you live without children or a farm then this is a one-stop shop all in mutli-sensory experience than pulls you in a needs all your skills and multi-tasking. At one point today I managed to corrale a screaming baby, a very ratty 3 year old and a knackered 5 year old who'd just come in from school. All you need is the power of your voice, a good hug and a damn fine selection of computer games. (Bless you internet, and Auntie Fun for finding them.)

I've had my first quad bike ride.

Seen my first 'show' performed by the 'phews and their cousins.

But I've also not run, not since the 22nd. And given that I"m running a 1/2 on the 5th this is seriously shocking. I've got to go for a run but timing is an issue, as is the weather 30mph winds on an island with no shelter the last 2 days have not made me desperate to lycra up. 

So I'm a bit concerned about becoming a lardy blob (well, lardier than usual) - and I tend to get really grumpy without my exercise - but there's plans afoot for the w/end, with kids parties and adult lunches - so I might get at least one run in.... maybe.

She's left me

but only temporarily. She's off on the island helping MaYa with the 'phews. All still surviving last I heard. Anyone who knows her send her stuff, emails, anything, she desperately needs the entertainment.

So whilst she's been away I've watched far too much TV (ranging from 'stylista' Blarney you'd love it; to 'How London was Built' which no-one but a numpty like me could find love for) and even some films, but you know, bad films, Oceans 13 - anyone? And we're only 2 days in.

I'm still working on my big project. But that remains under wraps until I've got it sorted in my mind.

Also loads of actual real live work on at the moment which is good timing. Got 4 different sets of designs sent off over the w/end. It's almost like a real work ethic and everything. But in all honesty I'm at that delightfully manic time in the month when I question where the line is between bi-polar disorder and menstrual cycle.

Even managed to get the long run done. As those who know my tweets will be all too aware - I didn't want to go, my get up and go had turned all Elvis on me. But hell, once you put the kit on (and some nice new kit courtesy of TKMaxx too) it always feels like a fait accompli.

So - the stats:
12 miles - 2.04.46 - avg 10.24

9.30 - flat / 9.49 - flat with incline at end / 9.59 - all up
10.57- all up / 10.37 - up, then down for last .3 / 9.27 - flat or slight down
10.45 - all up / 11.20 - gentle solid rise / 10.00 - gentle down
9.58 - down or flat / 10.52 - flat / 11.28 - flat, just me being crap

When checking the elevation there was 110m of climbing - this to someone who doesn't like hills is a bit crap. Some of it was really hard. (We'll ignore that there was 109m of descending.)

Observations:
Red squirrel at mile 3.5 really brightened up the biggest climbing section.
Fields of half eaten bagies smell foul.
I get bored by straight roads, so bored I turned back on a dead straight 2 mile stretch and ended up doing one of those poxy - run 0.3 of a mile, turn back, run 0.3 again. I'm an idiot.

After a hot shower and a little time thinking I might die I decided to cycle to the pub for dinner - at the ungodly early hour of 6pm. The food was excellent - anything I didn't cook would have tasted like joy.

It was v hard work cycling on the way back esp as I only took puffa gillet so was freezing like an idiot. It was the real sign of a cycling novice - go outside, decide it's not cold, forget at 16mph it will suddenly feel chilly.

The way home was at dusk, so a bit hairy but I walked through village and only cycled on our dead end road. And avoided any dark patches on the road that might be potholes. I've checked a few places, does anyone (UK) know where to get good cycle lights that might actually light your way rather than just flash drivers to let them know you exist?

Bats flittered around my head as I cycled home, that really rocked, I love bats and have only ever seen them at a distance, or known that those things flying at night weren't birds. (TheO taught me that, I'd never really considered it before she said.)


Today - in some fit of madness - I took the dogs for a 54 min walk (who knows why the exact minutes matter) 27 min of which was up hill. Think it might have done the job and worked out any latent soreness though. I'm not praying to go down stairs backwards like last week. Also lovely lunch in Birnam - I'm wondering how many tuna baked potatoes I can eat whilst TheO's away. She left on Friday and the count stands at 2. (We'll also ignore the cake/chocolate count.)

xx

I stole this crap from elsewhere on the interweb ...

but it still amused me.

The theory is, like most stupid games, that you load up your iTunes (or your uTunes if you prefer, and have anal grammar issues) and take the first 10 tracks it shuffles and add the phrase "in my pants" to the end of each track, I tried and tested recipe for hilarity (no, really).

I am tired (there was a circuits class, some running and an idea for a new charity this week) and still, I find this crap funny. I hope to god you do too.

Square Dance in my pants Eminem
Royale with Cheese in my pants Actors Pulp Fiction
Apple Pie À La Mode in my pants Destiny's Child
My pants appear to have had a whole meal now. Suddenly I'm feeling peckish ...
Resurrection Fern in my pants Iron & Wine - Where was that razor again?
Where Do the Children Play? in my pants Cat Stevens So sick, so wrong.
Seven Nation Army in my pants The White Stripes Might help to eradicate the Cat Stevens thing.
One Minute Man (Remix) in my pants Missy Elliott aka reasons to become a lesbian
Remedy in my pants The Black Crowes think this is made clear by the above
Weary Memory in my pants Iron & Wine I refer the honourable gentleman to Missy Elliott
Why Go in my pants Pearl Jam - need I say more?

Thank you, and goodnight, SAM has left the building.

Cautionary Tale

Once you've had the run of your life you shouldn't then come home, watch tv, eat dinner, and slob around. You wont be able to express the joy and elation you felt 4 1/2 hours earlier.

At 7 miles I convinced myself I was a god, a rock star, a super human (and yes the sport beans really had kicked in at that exact moment). The following miles were harder but do-able. But it was that perfect high, a high so pure and elating that I get a tiny glimpse of why drugs might be so good. It's like seeing the world working in perfect order and feeling strong, unbreakable, and immutable all in one crazy sweaty bundle. You feel, in that moment that there is no reason why you'll ever age or ail. Genius.

The weather in all its forms (sleet, snow, wind, driving rain) took me out for 2 walks this w/end but no runs. It was just too horrid, I'm always such a big wimp anyway. So after a lovely w/end with Doc I headed out to the gym.

The very expensive gym where only 2/4 treadmills were functioning and one of them is crap and set at a negative gradient anyway. Pah. I meant to complain but was sweating too much afterward to be seen or smelt by people. So I got the one 'good' treadmill but it's not under the air conditioning so it got really, really hot in there. Luckily Lars the fitness trainer or undetermined European origin came in and took pity on me and turned the temp down - before there was nothing left but a puddle.

10miles was the aim - I needed to do something to catch-up with my training. Yesterday I entered the Edinburgh Half Marathon which gives me a bit of a boost with the training aims. And apparently was exactly what I needed to get my lazy arse out the door. The threat of public humiliation (and not getting a PB in something I've paid good money to enter) will always make me work harder.

I'd done 8 miles last week so 9 should have been my goal but time is really ticking on now. I decided on 10 and started with a plan ... that never happens. I was going to run 0.8 of every mile at 9.40 pace, then the last 0.2 of every mile at 9.20 pace - this should give me a good boost and also break the miles up a bit. Brilliant. Also did some speeding up at the end, the usual - please god lets get there as fast I can physically move.

It worked like a dream as I then got to split it up in my head really well, I was only ever running a bit at a time. Breaking it up into tiny chunks got the time and miles to tick by quite nicely. My problem really is in the start, luckily in an actual race adrenalin keeps me going, but it takes about 4 miles until I'm even considering being 'in my stride'.

So, total was: (drum roll please) 1.36.19 which is a stonking 6min and 10 seconds faster than my last best ever training run, and 1 second a mile faster than my race pace last time. This gives me hope that I'm not such a lazy, lardy waster as I though. Just have to keep up some mileage over the next few weeks and I might *keep everything crossed* be in race shape in time.

Off to update my stats. Joy, joy, joy.

Also Misuno' are doing the bid'nes - worked well for 10miles with no aches, pains or blister. Don't feel as bouncy as I'm used to though so can't wait to try the NBs.

It's been a while.

The last few days since I last bored you with the minutae of my life have passed in a bit of a blur.

We went to Cameron House for the w/end and it was a huge, impersonal hotel that thought it was much grander than it really was... not that it wasn't comfortable and nice, just a bit contrived and full of people who were overly impressed by the helicopter on the lawn.

The spa was amazing though - being in hot bubbly water whilst outside and rain falling and cooling your face has got to be one of my favourite sensations.

The working week has been crazy over the last 5 days - we finally sold my car for a pittance (but still about what she was worth we suspect); we got the beautiful and stunning TT who is yet to have a name, but we suspect she's a girl!

I did a poxy 2 mile run up our hill and back - this even involved a 5min chat with the neighbour at 1.9 miles... really, barely worth mentioning.

Went to a circuits class again and it really rocked, its properly hard but really enjoyable at the same time. The ache from that has been compounded by a very hard physical day. Started by the drain dudes turning up and letting me know that Yes the drain is now clear (again) and sadly, Yes there is something wrong with it - a lump of something - possibly concrete (left by the fuckingarsewanking builders I assume) which is causing the pipe to block - it will have to be excavated. Bollocks.

I was going to say more but people home now and dead on my feet.

However, final note we did get the garage emptied of all crap and I got all clean and tidy - finally.