Busy, busy, but not always productive.

To try and get me back into the swing of this blogging malarkey I'm going with the simple list formula. Since we last communicated I have:

Walked the dogs for 39.4 miles
Run 19 miles (all under 9m/mile though - I'll take that positive)
Done innumerable arm and tummy exercises
Collected a new (to me) car
Attended or hosted 10 social events (yes, I do mean met with friends)
Made lots of things in ceramics, including making cakes for election night
Been to see a Diane Arbus exhibition - thanks HH
Voted - lets see how that turns out!?
Found an NHS Dentist - thanks Tigger. Was told I need a filling. :-(
Hot smoked my own salmon for the first time - v tasty (thanks Dad)
Contracted a nasty chest virus which has stopped me doing v much. Boooo
Worked a fair bit - but not enough.
Lost no more weight - but gained no weight. Again a plateau is better than nothing.

Hope this manages to keep you all caught up. The progress with the flat is slow for reasons I do not understand. I think 'cos the people selling are on behalf on an estate they aren't as desperate to get it done.... but jesus people, lets get this moving!

Generally quite frustrated as the virus just makes me a bit lethargic. Want to go to the gym to make myself feel better, but also know I can't do too much. Might go and give it a go tonight though. Just use the bike and elliptical - nothing too stressful. Got to try though. I'll take it easy.
Still got work to do, and I'm away all day tomorrow - hmmm, it might be a long night.

A fresh start.

This will hopefully be the start of me blogging again. I finally feel up to it. I finally feel like I have a life to share with the outside world.

I wont pretend the last 2 months haven't sucked. They have. But life does move on, particularly if you make it move on.

Good things:
I'm still running. Usually about 10-15 miles a week. And all miles are sub 9min now. Quite a break through. Almost all are in the gym though, this is v bad and I have to get back outside; it does so much more good for the psyche.

I got a flat. It was all very quick. But I think it's going to be an incredible home. It's large, not overlooked, and right on the park - so gold dog will be very happy. It needs a lot of work so I probably wont be moving for a few months, but that's ok. Change is manageable in steps. And adjustments that large should be handled with care for all concerned.

I'm still appreciating my friends more than I ever thought possible. I'm also learning that calling people is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of being sociable. And so far, it feels pretty great. (Friends may think otherwise, but I'm trying to rotate them all!)

Using the gym as displacement activity is a healthy solution. It could have been booze.

I kicked my coffee habit, and my food addiction simultaneously. No habits left, except running. Feels weird. but good. Feels like control.

I love doing my ceramics course. I keep making unweildy or ugly things, but it's such fantastic fun to just keep making things. Also there's a bizarre bond about having the focus of making things, and chatting too.

The break-up - now to be referred to as TBU had one positive outcome. I lost loads of weight. This might be why all miles are now sub 9. But I'm being very careful not to let any creep back. If I maintain this for a while maybe I'll even get down to a healthy weight... less than 14lb to go!

I feel like I'm becoming my own person again. I didn't even know I'd lost me, but I think I had. It's interesting to wait and see who I'll be now.
--

It's strange after so long to be single. It's not a feeling I've ever had as an adult, but maybe now is the right time for me. I still have moments when I think this is so crushing I can't quite bear it. But those moments grow fewer. Now I try to keep my head up, facing forwards, looking on. I'm not going to try and critically asses the last 10 years of my life. They were what they were. Sometimes things just 'are'; trying to put a spin on it in retrospect wont help me now.

There will be worse moments to come. But I'm going to hold onto this up swing and see where it takes me. I hope there are still a few readers out there who'll come with me. It might finally get a bit more interesting. ;-)

Wrong

What I said about finally being ready to tackle 2010, and how it might even be a bit great... well, I was v v wrong.

1oth Feb TheO broke up with me after 11 years.

Spent next 5 weeks in denial.

Went to Paris for 5 days to see beautiful things and be on my own for a bit.

Stopped being in denial.

Now moving onwards and upwards - often literally. (The flat hunt has begun.)

I am still running, and I will be blogging again. But I had to take a bit of a break.

I just thought you should all know.

And I'm also going to say a very large THANK YOU to all my wonderful friends who are really making this so much better than it could have been. I know you've all got a lot of listening still to do, so I'm keeping you all placated with cake. Is it working? xxx

Finally the muse is with me.

It got to the point where there was only so much bitching about the heating that could be done! So instead of writing about other stuff, I just shut up.

Luckily during the worst of it we were taken in (in a kindly way, rather than in a slave labour/ sold to pirates way) by RF and Wheeler. Thank god for friends. We, in turn, showed them a great restaurant just 20min from their house ... this seemed like a fair exchange.

Fitted in (since I last blogged):
5 miles in 43.41 - rocked the socks of my old time.
5K in the gym
5 miles - 45.05
5k in the gym
5K - Outside in the sodding snow and a gale. Hideous the higher I went, luckily Black dog looooved it.
5K in the gym. 26.43
So I've not really been slacking or progressing in the running stakes; more just making sure that I maintain a decent level of fitness. And I've got a plan worked out for the next half in April - so watch the miles start to tick up. (As I bitch about the cold more and more.)

My nearest and dearest friends also came and celebrated my birthday (31) in a very cold house, in a very cold month, in a very cold year - when we had no heating. So they were brave souls (and god are they great; these are the same friends who have had dinner at midnight as we had no water and no electric one year!). The all survived without frostbite and with good humour. A lot of radiators helped. And blankets. And a fire. And keeping everyone in one large room as much as possible.

After a night out at East Haugh pub we headed home and made a relatively early night of it. Friday can see people a bit knackered after a busy week, and we knew we had to get up early the next day.

When we went CURLING. I know! When told MaYa said, "how terribly ethnic" and she might be right. I think the Scots are mighty fond of 'sports' where you can have a pint, and stop to have a fag, and not really ever get out of breath. Brilliant.

We had almost 2h with an instructor (Claire - brilliant) and just had a great time. I had felt quite apprehensive about waking up in a cold house and then going to stand in a cold place for hours at a time but it worked really well. I'd recommend it to anyone. We did eventually split into 2 teams and have 2 'ends' - it was a pathetic tie. 1-1.

A lovely walk, and lunch (obviously) eventually took us all back home where roaring fires and heaters made it quite nice really. We did all sorts of art activities and just chilled out. All through this TheO was damn ill. She had a cold of epic proportions and was just about managing to stay upright. She even held it all together long enough to put together the epic feast of deli good, fantastic bread, a huge salmon she cooked, and the lobster Teech brought. It was fantastic. We all dined like queens. (Okay, and kings.) Shame TheO had lost the ability to taste all food. :-(

We all parted ways the next day - and managed to entice RF to the gym with tails of hot tubs. So I even fitted in a work out on my birthday. Finally that evening we headed off to see Stephen K Amos in Perth. It was v funny, but - as is always the sodding case, we had seen a lot of the show earlier in the year.

A few lovely lunches catching up with friends we've not seen in a while also made the end of January really great. Being sociable stops you from being quite so introspective and gives me the interaction I desperately need (but am, for reasons I don't understand, incapable of organising myself!).

After a particularly long spell without heating we began to get a little bit hardier, and a lot more worn down. It really took a toll on our collective mood, so it was beyond wonderful when it was finally fixed. However, we have taken further action and 2 sets of stove engineers are now about to furnish us with quotes. Our living room really, really needs more than the small fire can provide. So lets see if they can get us a bit warmer for the rest of the year (whilst simultaneously using a bit less heating).

That was a great welcome to February. A great welcome to 2010 really. People eager to turn up and provide you with a quote. So far we've only had to make one enquiry each, no chasing, no further phone calls, no rubbish. Lets hope they keep it up.

February started with far more promise. We not only discovered a great wee place for lunch in Crieff (Delivino) but TheO, with her incredible style managed to surprise me with a further birthday outing. She took me to Andrew Fairlie. (Her blog does cover this in detail.) This was just brilliant. The best service I've seen anywhere. And some of the best food. A tiny bit lacking in 'show' but not in ability or quality.

This fantastic night also enabled me to get dolled up. Something I do occasionally enjoy. I even put (clear) polish on my nails; but I used it as an opportunity to try out my birthday present from HH. I've been desperate to have some heated rollers for aaaages. My hair is quite flat and doesn't really do much unless I put the effort in. Heated rollers seemed like such an easy way to get a big effect.

OMG do these things work. On dry hair, with a 5min heat up and left in for about 15min I got brilliant curls.

Honestly - these were great curls. And this is a rubbish picture, taken just as I was running out the house; I'm quite happy at this point, but am appearing FURIOUS in this picture! (I'm also wearing the necklace I got as a bday present from TheO... who spoils me, and I don't deserve it.)

So, what with the excellent food, brilliant company, big hair, and too much booze - it was a damn fine night.

I now feel much more like tackling 2010 head on. And it might even be a bit great.

Trying, very trying

I'll cover the basics first. Since we were last here I've managed a paultry 11 miles. A 5k on cross country setting ( harder hills), a fast 4 miles and another 4 last night.
The running is going quite well. I seem to be able to maintain a sub 9min pace now over about a 10k distance which is really a massive breakthrough for me. But not being able to test it outside is a real pain.
Hopefully that'll change soon as everything is beginning to melt - finally.

We also had a visit from Maya and her two youngest last week which went v well. Ok - it was wonderful desire the stress of managing to lock TheO and the boys out of the house. But I think she told you about that I'm her blog. It was wonderful to spend quality time with my godson and see what he's like on his own. (Delighted to report v sweet and pretty good at craft, also a big lover of computer games. Got to love it. There weren't even home computers when I was his age. Man it makes you feel old.)

The highlight of recent times has been a fantastic trip to Hotel Missoni in Edinburgh with the cheeseboard. It was wonderful - cocktails, fine food and feeling safe in the knowledge that we all really were FABULOUS.
We stayed with Blarney and it was wonderful. Nice trip to North Berwick really topped it off.

Other jaunts with neighbours have kept us busy but really - after all that I'm here for a good old fashioned rant.

Our heating has gone off again. And it's just a bit too much to bear. So far 2010 really is just a case of wading through stuff. Heating, mice, rats, ice, moles digging up the entire garden... It's all just a bit much. And it's making me v down. I'm trying to just be positive and 'get stuff done' but there's always something getting in the way - and for the last month it's been snow and ice and biting cold.

And it put us in a permanent state of concern. We've got 7 people and 2 kidscoming to stay at the w/end. If the heating is still giving us gyp then I'm not sure what we'll do.

Maybe I'm just moaning becuase I'm sick of being cold and I'm sick of lying in bed fully dressed as is the only place with heat. And I'm not sure that should even count. See picture.



Looking back over 2009 just managed to remind me of the heating breaking then, and the drains, and the mower. But also a fantastic amount of time spent with friends. The kind of time that makes your soul happy.

However I don't think I achived anything in 2009 and I have no one to blame but myself (god that sucks, it would be most excellent to be able to blame someone).

Jesus I might just have to quit this blog post here as I'm not really cheering myself or anyone else up. So adios for now.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Heat and aching muscles.

The heating has been "fixed". I say "fixed" as there were some horribly unanswered questions, the kind that are always true but deeply frustrating. "Oh, we have about 5 or 6 units in Scotland that break down in winter, yours is one of them, we don't know why!"

Also when your heating engineer suggests you call his mate and have a different boiler/furnace system fitted ... well, let's say we're not that desperate yet but I do spend a considerable amount of time delighted that we only have to pay the bills, we didn't pay to have the world's least useful system (for this house) fitted!

And breathe.

So, in retaliation for being sodding cold I went to the gym today with a mission. A mission to beat my 10K time. And, luckily for humankind as you'd have heard the shrieks of anguish world wide, I kicked my old time's arse. 53.40 (45 seconds off my old time) and this did involve running up a 3% slope for 12.5 mins of this time and a 2% for 12.5 min also. It was a damn hard work out but it felt great.

This week I've managed 13.3 miles which is a huge improvement on the last few months.
I desperately need to kick-start this year.
With the heating off doing anything (apart from waiting for engineers and leaving the house to go somewhere warm) has been pretty impossible. Everything has felt a bit like being on holiday, but not in a good way. You feel you should start the year with a bang or January will be over and then... and then.

So tomorrow - back to some sort of grindstone.
And preparing the house for MaYa her youngest too and MaryPoppins ... a flying visit starts on Sunday and they leave on Wednesday so we'll be lucky enough to celebrate Goose's birthday! My godson - I'm delighted.

Right - make a list for tomorrow and lets get this month started.

ps/ We can't really turn the heating off properly... just in case. Anyone care to imagine how crap the bills will be?

It's cold here.

Now I know that a lot of people are suffering from the cold but our heating is broken, so it's genuinely cold.

So cold I can't sit in my study and blog.

We did have a fantastic Xmas and New Year a topic I might revisit in warmer times, but for now I'll just say it was all good.

All our friends left by the 2nd and the heating broke on the 3rd so normal service has yet to be resumed.

I have fitted in a few great runs in the gym though -anything to lose the post Xmas lard! The gym also has heating AND A SAUNA which does help to knock the ice from my bones. We've had 17 days of sub-zero so far and probably another 14 to go ... So the heating dude had better work some serious magic tomorrow.

Also I was lucky enough to get an iPhone for Xmas - so I can sit by the fire and let you know how I'm doing.

So much more to say but I think I'll keep it simple and say a v happy 2010 to all, and thanks for the kind wishes.
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