Bit of a sodding moan

What a crappy, crappy run.

Being too poor to go to the gym should have been a great thing. Forcing me to run outside, appreciate the fresh air, bit of sunshine. (I did appreciate those things.)

49.09 for 4.5 miles - fucking pathetic.

Seriously pissed off with myself. God knows why it was so bad. Felt brilliant in the gym a few days ago.  I'd had 2 weeks off and felt far better for it. A good 5k, then some heavier than usual weights - all v positive. Despite proper preparation today was just dire.

I ran up the Seat and round to Duddingston loch, then walked quickly up the steps and back to the top road then ran home. The walk was maybe .2 of a mile - so not far enough to explain the terrible time.

I really, really miss running on empty country roads that are 'rolling' rather than hilly. Must find more routes. Maybe even routes that need a bus? Anything is better than being so dispirited by the sodding hill every time. I don't want to run up hill. I don't enjoy it. I just want to run for miles on the flat-ish without having to think about traffic, or people, or stopping at lights. 

AND another thing.... I really don't understand my weight at the moment.

Spent 10 days counting every calorie and never eating more than 1400 - and exercising a lot.

Nothing happened. Not one pound. (And I've been counting calories for about 18 years so yes I did it right, and YES I wrote down every tiny thing, every ml of milk in coffee, any teaspoon of anything.)

Then I went to London for 6 days, did v little exercise except some walking, and ate basically what I pleased without going overboard. Lost 2lb

Now back home, eating less and exercising more - Gained 2lb

I don't mind eating loads and getting fat (what I mean is that I HATE it, but I see the cause and effect); but I hate a seeming lack of results when I make a serious effort. Maybe it's just age, maybe the serious effort has to be a bit more stringent now.

Ah well, maybe I'm just feeling a bit shit about everything at the minute.

The dress I'd planned to wear to a wedding it too small (no wonder as I've put on 16lb since first trying it - what an idiot!) - only saving grace is the back-up dress which only needs the straps altered to turn it from a dress with a waist-band to a Grecian/empire line. And in doing this it becomes short enough to not need taken-up, thereby making the whole process cheaper. And I like it as a dress... so you know, could be worse.

But I really felt 'normal' 16lb lighter - and I'd never felt that before. And now I've had it, I really want the feeling back - but it just seems so hard to get there, and I don't understand why given how badly I want it... if that makes sense. I mostly just can't believe I let this happen, and I know it was comfort eating due to extreme stress for 6 months, but even so - I feel like such a fool, at this point I think drinking would have been less harmful to me. Really, anything except eating - again.

Ah well, I'll just have to put some serious effort in and hope I get results this time. And then maybe remember to fucking maintain them as I am now the cliche of someone who has been on a diet for the last 20 years and really, really, really has had e-fucking-nough.

Apart from the desire to winge the last few weeks really haven't been too bad. Fantastic w/end of festival madness (5 shows - all worth the effort); wonderful watching of the end of Festival Fireworks from Princes St; work continues to be good and I'm getting to know some of my colleagues - which is great as they're lovely! Seeing inside the Scottish Parliament for a work-do really was a treat. It's an incredible building with so many details that take your breath away. Stunning angles, light and the doors are fabby!

And now chg is in Nepal having a much, much needed break and I'm being delightfully entertained by my lovely friends, who as well as feeding me and stopping me from going completely bonkers (only time will tell on that one) also lend me time-sponges like DowntonAbbey & Twighlight books ... I may never sleep this week as I try to watch and read everything. DAMN YOU HH! :-)

Right, must go wash and feed doggy, and generally mope. Bah humbug. 
And I wanted to go to GrannyGreens tonight but have been a lazy arse so I've got too much work to do. WHY WHY WHY, as with all things, do I bring this on myself?

ps Meeper had a little girl who I finally get to meet this week!
pps The delightful Gold Dog is allowed to come and sit under the desk at my feet.
Good results all round!

Smug, and aching.

Alright, maybe not actually smug - but definitely damn happy. V damn happy. A 7 mile run yesterday! (I've not run 7 miles since the terrible, horrible, [bird]flu infested Jedburgh Half about 18 months ago.)

It was wonderful. And strangely I do feel as if I could have run further. I also then did a full (for me) gym session afterwards.

And, on entering the gym, I requested a "torture session" with the mad bloke who makes people weep. So that's my Thursday morning sorted. Pain and tears. Lovely. Also free (apart from gym entry).

Now I do ache a little bit, it's more muscular than running related... if you know what I mean. The legs seems fine, but the arms are complaining slightly. However, I definitely need to do more on the arms, particularly if I'm ever to look even close to alright in a bridesmaids dress.

Ah, the bridesmaids dresses - we will get there, we must. And there is still LOADS of time, but we've not managed a second swipe at the shops yet. And life proceeds to get more complicated for all involved.

I'm still managing to keep on top of work; and on top of exercise despite a stressful few weeks. This was necessary not only as stress relief, but also as I just kept eating... no really, loads. So I've got a fair few pounds to run off (again). God I make myself angry. Ah well, all done now, just have to get back to it.

So there was a quick dash up the seat on the 4th - 30.35 for 5K. (Dog also grateful for superior speed leg-stretch.) I do love running outside but I just need to put some effort into finding routes I'm happy and confident with. I hate having to stop at lights etc, but also hate feeling too isolated... suggestions welcome.

Gym Stats: (these are really for me, not for reading with glee - but they made a good place to keep notes of progress etc).

Most exciting bit is that it was my fastest 7 miles ever. And I was on hill setting 8 (out of 15, so not mountains,but it does go up to 6.4% regularly)!

7 miles (hill setting 8) 1.03.29 - 944 calories

Waist making machine 55Kg 3 sets of 12. Now this was properly hard, I think I should leave it on this setting for a wee bit. Finally worked up to where it's a killer.

Triceps - 6kg weight - 3 sets of 12 - now here I finally need to go up a weight... but I think my only option is up to 8kg... this might be a killer initially, but 6kg is finally too light.

Seated Delt Row 25kg 3 sets 12... could go heavier (but don't want to)

Leg lifts (on the weird blue ball back thing) 24 with straight legs

Lateral Pull 26Kg 3 sets of 12 - all in front of body and my 'form' was shocking... but I was doing this last and was bloody knackered by this point.

---

Got home to discover an incredible dinner cooked for me. AND a very tidy and clean kitchen and dining room, ready to sit down and enjoy it in. Made me very, very happy.

Also discovered that I had a film we both wanted to see *shock* - so The Departed was enjoyed immensely. Then a very, very, deep sleep.

News

Proper news. The chg is taking a career break, working on her dissertation and hanging around in EDINBURGH for a bit. Bloody lovely to get to see her all the time.

I also picked up the keys to the flat in Inverkeithing and discovered it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I had thought it might be. You know, that moment when you walk in and think... what the hell have I done!? Well, I might have done alright. The letting agent seemed permanently surprised by how nice it was... or she was just being lovely. Still a fair few bits and bobs to get sorted out - but it'll get there.. and I will find tenants... I will. I will I will I will I will I will.

Moving on... went to a lovely book making class at Granny Greens last Monday. Made 2 books, loved the stitching, but as the instructor kept saying how perfect and pernickity book makers were a few of us said, "but you can just judge it by eye, right?" Not a perfectionist and proud of it!

The last week has involved a fair few jaunts. The sunshine has brought out the explorer. So Perthshire, Trossachs, and Fife have all been visited and enjoyed. Quiet spots for a bit of spring contemplation. Lovely. Come on sunshine.

Watching the park change has been spectacular. Suddenly realising a tree that looked dormant and all wintery has changed to a glowing red as the buds appear has been lovely. And watching the pigeons attempt their mating dances on the rooftops opposite demonstrates the hilarious preening nature of beasts and man. Also seeing the crags come alive with figures at sunset as everyone clamours to see the colours over Edinburgh. Ahhh.

Right, enough waffle. I've been busy eating cake (as chg does like to bake!) and neglecting the gym... but today, I decided that it had to be the gym. Even an Ikea trip was delayed so I could go. (It was THAT serious.)

So stats:
4 miles Hill setting Level 8 in 36.15 (555 calories - so barely covered the lemon curd tarts!)
Machine 6 - the twisty waist thing on 52.5Kg (3 sets of 12)
Assisted chinup on 33Kg 6 repetitions
Assisted dip on 33Kg 6 repetitions *** Oooo just checked and I was meant to do it on 47kg so no wonder it was so bloody hard. Delighted I could do it though... go me.... although I might be in agony tomorrow.
Triceps dip 6Kg weight (3 sets of 12)

And I'll add that I had a 90min walk prior to the gym too. So I feel smug, but still fat :-)

DONE

Rambling on

This might be a bit of a ramble. The chg is sitting at the other end of the table working on her dissertation, and I should be working... but blogging seemed like a good idea.

Last week - well some time last week in a period that constituted 7 days I ran 13.3 miles. (The .3 being VERY important.) Not done that in a very, very, long time. Maybe about a year. Boooo. Ah well, at least I'm back at it.

**- this post was interrupted by the computer needing to be plugged in; the dog needing a walk, and some lunch... but lets get back to it -**

Life has been a bit busy of late. I managed to buy a flat to rent. I'm sure it'll all go swimmingly but until I have tenants it just seems like a lot of money left my account for very little reason. Comment from woman at the bank who did the transfer: so now you're penniless! WAS NOT BLOODY HELPFUL.

But in other news I also got all of my new course supplies. All v v exciting. Many books, many bits of paper and a whole bunch of daunt. Ah well, it'll all be wonderful. Right? RIGHT?

Managed to see the lovely Meeper this week (and eat enough pizza to knock out most of the 13 miles), and catch-up with HH and Teech as they enjoyed some half term relaxation before they get sucked into the joy that is Masterchef... also a wee trip down the coast to Dunbar - nice to see the sea properly. )Despite living so close I'm always in the park... incredible what something being easy does. Need to work out quick route to Portabello and get the dog sandy more often.

The gym has been calling me, yet again, and I've discovered that only Friday night is quiet. The others are MENTAL. And has anyone done some anthropology study about behaviour in gyms. Why people would watch TV when you can people watch is beyond me, I'm endlessly fascinated.

STATS:

10th: 4 miles - 34.30 - hill setting Level 7. (523 calories)
The weird row/delt machine 3 x 12 (25kg)
Waist machine 3 x12 (47.5kg)
Triceps hand weight 6kg 3 x 12

16th: 5k 27.38 Hill setting 8. 393 calories.
Then the waist machine on 50kg 3 x12

After the gym last night I pegged it home and cooked pasta whilst showering. From leaving gym to sitting washed with supper was 25min... I think the only PB I've achieved in months.

Off to take CHG to see Blarney for the first time. Apparently her daughter was told I was coming and asked for the dog. Moment of GENIUS. She gets extra cake.

I've got the glow.

So I might as well blog now whilst I feel all righteous and buzzy. But then, that could just be the Twix. *ponders to self - why don't Cadbury's make a Twix, with their caramel and their chocolate it would be even better*

Right: Almost 2 hours spent in the wonder of the gym. I've finally capitulated and at least bought an Edinburgh Leisure card (£25) so the gym experience is now 25% cheaper each wince-some time.

Let's go through what I did in detail (bet you're all thrilled):
RUN: 10K - trumpets sound as choirs of angels are slowly drifting down to earth - 56.06 - Hill setting 5. (Think the last time I ran 10K was April 2010 - so it's been less than a year... just.) Delighted by this. I will feel it tomorrow but the average is about a second over a 9min/mile which pleases me no end. Think I was helped by Countdown being on the tiny, fuzzy, mini screen on the treadmill. The new Carol wears inappropriately tight and short dresses... is she trying to give the old dudes a heart attack? Didn't have headphones - but entertained myself nonetheless; shame as Greg "cooking doesn't get tougher than this" Wallace was the guest, and I would have liked to hear him too.

So after this run, I could have limped away... but I did not. I quickly nipped out to the corridor to call my solicitor and say yes, give them the extra £2000 for the flat I want. All sorted... now I just have to wait until Monday as they're now shut. Boo. Was suggested I put in the extra 2K - but they wouldn't say it was a definite if I did that... pah, if I don't get it, another one will come along... probably.

Important phone calls made I returned to do the non-aerobic portion of my gym session:

The incredible waist making machine (it's hard not to kiss it):
3 sets of 12 on 45Kg

Then a new torture - the Row/Rear Delts machine - seated, weighted pull thing:
One set of 12 on 27.5Kg
2 x 12 on 25Kg - made me feel like a pussy, but I never work out by back... and it showed.

Having watched a wiry, terrifying man torture a woman for about an hour I then approached him to request how to use the assisted chin and dip machine... Now it is assisted, so the weight is taken OFF your weight, rather than that being the weight you are lifting.
47kg was the setting I did one set dips, one set chin lifts.
He also assured me that he'd torture me for free if I booked a session. V v tempting - he was killing that woman... and she was uber-fit, the kind of woman where she looks perfectly lovely and 'feminine' (whatever that may be) but nothing wobbles... bitch

Then the lat pull down:
2 x 12 on 19Kg
1 x 12 on 26Kg

Finally the sodding tricep weight dip with a 6Kg weight. After the chin & dip machine this was torture, it took me all my time to get through the 3 sets of 12.

I left in a sweaty puddle to buy a Twix and pick up the free copy of The Stylist which is a fantastic Style magazine. Oh the joy of free city newspapers.

Now I'm stuck listening to the washing machine which of put on 60 seems to last for about 3hours... stop spinning, please stop spinning.

Off to shower - eat, then many hours hence collect CHG from the station... what a lovely end to the week.

This is going to hurt tomorrow.

I'm trying to get back into this blogging lark I really am.
More an 2 posts a month would be a start.

I've cooked for HH and Teech (again with the Orkney Fudge Cheesecake... too good, and too easy to not make... and a stoved chicken thing that was all potato, chicken and garlic goodness).
This was before it baked in the oven for about 75mins. The delightful shine is all buttery goodness.

I then tried to run off some of the chickeny goodness by doing a 5k the next morning. It was sans dog and therefore a little bit faster; think it was just under 30min - not bad considering the magnitude of the hill. This helped to aliviate my guilt, but not my hunger, as I headed out to dinner with Meeper and Ceegar. A really lovely night of chatting, drinking (if my hangover the next morning was anything to go by WOW were those gins strong). Good to all catch-up.

After starting the running with more conviction I've had the odd twinge in my back. It was well and truly buggered when I moved house in 2008, and then moving in 2010 didn't help it any. Not sitting awkwardly (which I do all the sodding time) and yoga seem to help... so I did some yoga.

It wasn't exactly 45min of torture, but it was clear that I haven't stretched out properly in quite some time. Will try and add it into what I laughably call a 'routine' with a little more regularity. I do like it though; dynamic ashtanga yoga has a lot going for it - even if my 'practice' is more about staying moving than it is about 'the breath'. Grrr

So after creaking my way through the post yoga days, and seeing Pickle for a lovely coffee and catch-up (Valvona & Crolla's coffee was lack luster to say the least, but the lemon polenta cake was delightful); I headed out to Granny Greens. (Or as I think of it - truly the best craft group there could ever be. People are friendly, chatty, and everyone just gets on with whatever they are making.) I took 2 extra balls of wool with me and was delighted to be half way through the last by the time I headed home. The wooly made for the chg is finished, just in time to take it to Amsterdam! It should have been a scarf, it is a small blanket... possibly the largest thing I have ever made. I only hope I can fit it in my small travel case.... or maybe I'll just have to wear it, and pack my scarf... Oh god, it's huge - migrant families could use it for shelter.

But, today, and here we get to what should be the backbone of my blog, I ***WENT TO THE GYM*** The gym, that is less than 5 min walk from my house, that I had yet to frequent. Well, I went. And I paid £6.90. It was not peak time. And if you want to shower it's another £1.30... I'm only glad I live so close.

The only negative is the cost. The place is pretty great with more machines than any other gym I've ever been in... and there's even a modicum of natural light, and plenty of water machines.
I tell a lie - there's another negative, the damn machines are in Kilometres. Pah. This did make me go faster though.

So, enough waffle onto the achievement portion of the post:
5 miles (count 'em) - in 46.22 (this averages at 9.16 a mile - much more like it). And I did genuinely feel like I could probably have made it to the 10k point. Always a good feeling. But as I haven't run as far as 5miles since APRIL 2010 (*red with shame*) it would have been seriously foolish to push it any further. I used the new and shiny (and dead comfy to run on) machine on HILL setting level 5. Not massive hills - only up to about 4% - but enough to make it a proper work out for the glutes. Other machine notes: nowhere to balance the ipod to actually watch anything, but a good little cubby if I wanted it to listen to stuff. Also a great water bottle holder. (Sometimes it's the simple things that make a difference.)

Then, and here I will bore you as I need to write it down as a log, I did some of the machines.
An incredible obliques and abs machine which is going to make me scream tomorrow morning as I roll over. Kneel on a pad, rotate your body to grasp the chest pad, hold yourself in place and do weighted lower body rotations.... did 3 sets of 12 for each side. First two sets on 35Kg, last set on 40Kg. Then 3 sets of 12 (weight 19??) on the lat pull down; and 3 sets of triceps dips holding a 6kg weight. So I didn't go mental with the gym work after the run, but I tried to work out the bits of me that get ignored (anything but the legs really). Think the new Ab machine might be a real favorite though.... oh so good, feeeel the burn.

Definitely time for bed. Lovely to feel so physically knackered... but makes my typing bad.

Success

It's been a busy week or two (as usual it appears). Although I'm not sure I'm actually achieving much!?

I discovered that my old dog wasn't just the usual 'old-d0g-itchy' but had a skin infection. So: pills, shampoo and consultation - £98.... really... ah well, better that's she's comfortable. (grrr)

Had a delicious mutli-course dinner with the fabulous Miss Lane. Spinach & Watercress soup ROCKS - and had it been on a menu it would have been a tough sell, but in person - stunning.

Quick trip up to Perthshire to see ceramics friends & celebrate their wedding. Also saw Dotty which was wonderful - some good natter over cups of tea with dogs sleeping in the sunshine.

Pickle then visited Edinburgh and I took her to sample the delights that are The Phuket Pavillion - I love that Thai, and they have the knack of remembering you, which is just such a nice touch.

Coffee and chat with Smoothie as her son was doing gymnastics. Good to just catch-up and find out how her mammoth trip to Africa was. (Pretty bloody good.)

A bit of careful planning meant that CHG's visit to Edinburgh was timed to coincide with my first proper dinner at the new place (I'd call it a house warming, but that felt a bit too overwhelming). I gathered as many as could be seated, and tried to feed them well. I think the lack of left overs means that they were quite happy with the grub:

Home hot-smoked salmon with beetroot & horseraddish cream.
Roast Venison with dauphinoise and green beans.
Cream cheese brownies with a massive stack of berries.

(A menu that enabled lots of prep before-hand and simple enough to make the night easy.)

So after that wonderful weekend, where the sun was gracious and enabled a lovely walk on Sunday, I decided that the new week was going to include what I now think of as: The Revenge of the Brownies. (Da da dahhhhhhh.)

On Monday I put on my running gear. This is the first time I have done this in Edinburgh since moving in. I thought: I'll run through the park along the flat sections and once I get to the 1.55miles just head back. This will avoid most of the hideous hills.

But for some reason, as soon as I entered the park I found myself heading up hill - just going straight up the steep side of Queen's Drive. I don't know why this happened, but once started it seemed churlish to give up. And my only aim was to get to the top without any walking.

I was genuinely apprehensive. I don't really like running up hill. (Some people do - Wheeler - and they are generally known as nutters!) And I haven't run up that hill since my very first 5k years ago. But, it wasn't too bad. In fact it was confusingly un-bad ('good' would be over-selling it).

November 1st:
1mile up - all up - 11.45
I mile across the top and back - 9.51
1 mile all down hill - 8.59

Total for 5K - 31.30
I was satisfied by this, but a little irked that it's over the magic 10min/mile pace - a pace I desperately worked to get under. But I suppose that is what you get for not training enough and running up big hills.

After this run I felt the pain. Not horrible, but definitely pain. The ache in the legs and the slight wince going up and down stairs (not useful when you live on the 3rd floor). I tried to walk it off by doing another 4 miles that day heading to and from the fabulous Granny Greens.

So, in a bid to quash the pain I went out for another run today. Conditions were much better - it was dry for a start; and this time of year is just the right side of cold (for me). All I need are 3/4 leggings and a long sleeved shirt. It works perfectly.

Mile 1 - 11.43 (now I swear this could have been faster but the golden dog needed some time to warm up... and she seriously pulled me off my stride)
Mile 2 - 9.43
Mile 3 - 8.39 - the dry weather made the fear of slipping on the downhill negligible so I could go a wee bit faster.
Total for 5K - 30.57

Honestly, despite a lack of form and not being quite where I want to be with running I was bloody delighted by this. It's 17 seconds slower than I ran the race 3 1/2 years ago - but it also isn't hard to do. I'm not killing myself to get there, I'm just able to do it with relative comfort. (Mental note: must actually try harder.) Also it is *just* under the 10min/mile pace - which always makes me feel better.

Now this renewed interest in running is both the old feeling of just bloody enjoying it, and the fact that the council gym in Edinburgh (about 3min walk from my door) is £6.50 a visit. Holy Shit that's expensive. Now I know that if I pay monthly, or buy a discount card it gets significantly cheaper - but I still think £6.50 to use a gym is just taking the piss. (Or have I lived in the sticks too long?) Rant over.

The running really does give me a weird sense of satisfaction and I'm beginning to believe that my basic level of fitness might be ok. I can top it up more easily now, and am surprised by what I can do, rather than frustrated by what I can't. I'm not sure if it's just getting back to a low level of consistency - or all the city walking - but things definitely feel easier now.

So all I can do is work on further and faster...

Busy, busy, but not always productive.

To try and get me back into the swing of this blogging malarkey I'm going with the simple list formula. Since we last communicated I have:

Walked the dogs for 39.4 miles
Run 19 miles (all under 9m/mile though - I'll take that positive)
Done innumerable arm and tummy exercises
Collected a new (to me) car
Attended or hosted 10 social events (yes, I do mean met with friends)
Made lots of things in ceramics, including making cakes for election night
Been to see a Diane Arbus exhibition - thanks HH
Voted - lets see how that turns out!?
Found an NHS Dentist - thanks Tigger. Was told I need a filling. :-(
Hot smoked my own salmon for the first time - v tasty (thanks Dad)
Contracted a nasty chest virus which has stopped me doing v much. Boooo
Worked a fair bit - but not enough.
Lost no more weight - but gained no weight. Again a plateau is better than nothing.

Hope this manages to keep you all caught up. The progress with the flat is slow for reasons I do not understand. I think 'cos the people selling are on behalf on an estate they aren't as desperate to get it done.... but jesus people, lets get this moving!

Generally quite frustrated as the virus just makes me a bit lethargic. Want to go to the gym to make myself feel better, but also know I can't do too much. Might go and give it a go tonight though. Just use the bike and elliptical - nothing too stressful. Got to try though. I'll take it easy.
Still got work to do, and I'm away all day tomorrow - hmmm, it might be a long night.

A fresh start.

This will hopefully be the start of me blogging again. I finally feel up to it. I finally feel like I have a life to share with the outside world.

I wont pretend the last 2 months haven't sucked. They have. But life does move on, particularly if you make it move on.

Good things:
I'm still running. Usually about 10-15 miles a week. And all miles are sub 9min now. Quite a break through. Almost all are in the gym though, this is v bad and I have to get back outside; it does so much more good for the psyche.

I got a flat. It was all very quick. But I think it's going to be an incredible home. It's large, not overlooked, and right on the park - so gold dog will be very happy. It needs a lot of work so I probably wont be moving for a few months, but that's ok. Change is manageable in steps. And adjustments that large should be handled with care for all concerned.

I'm still appreciating my friends more than I ever thought possible. I'm also learning that calling people is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of being sociable. And so far, it feels pretty great. (Friends may think otherwise, but I'm trying to rotate them all!)

Using the gym as displacement activity is a healthy solution. It could have been booze.

I kicked my coffee habit, and my food addiction simultaneously. No habits left, except running. Feels weird. but good. Feels like control.

I love doing my ceramics course. I keep making unweildy or ugly things, but it's such fantastic fun to just keep making things. Also there's a bizarre bond about having the focus of making things, and chatting too.

The break-up - now to be referred to as TBU had one positive outcome. I lost loads of weight. This might be why all miles are now sub 9. But I'm being very careful not to let any creep back. If I maintain this for a while maybe I'll even get down to a healthy weight... less than 14lb to go!

I feel like I'm becoming my own person again. I didn't even know I'd lost me, but I think I had. It's interesting to wait and see who I'll be now.
--

It's strange after so long to be single. It's not a feeling I've ever had as an adult, but maybe now is the right time for me. I still have moments when I think this is so crushing I can't quite bear it. But those moments grow fewer. Now I try to keep my head up, facing forwards, looking on. I'm not going to try and critically asses the last 10 years of my life. They were what they were. Sometimes things just 'are'; trying to put a spin on it in retrospect wont help me now.

There will be worse moments to come. But I'm going to hold onto this up swing and see where it takes me. I hope there are still a few readers out there who'll come with me. It might finally get a bit more interesting. ;-)

Finally the muse is with me.

It got to the point where there was only so much bitching about the heating that could be done! So instead of writing about other stuff, I just shut up.

Luckily during the worst of it we were taken in (in a kindly way, rather than in a slave labour/ sold to pirates way) by RF and Wheeler. Thank god for friends. We, in turn, showed them a great restaurant just 20min from their house ... this seemed like a fair exchange.

Fitted in (since I last blogged):
5 miles in 43.41 - rocked the socks of my old time.
5K in the gym
5 miles - 45.05
5k in the gym
5K - Outside in the sodding snow and a gale. Hideous the higher I went, luckily Black dog looooved it.
5K in the gym. 26.43
So I've not really been slacking or progressing in the running stakes; more just making sure that I maintain a decent level of fitness. And I've got a plan worked out for the next half in April - so watch the miles start to tick up. (As I bitch about the cold more and more.)

My nearest and dearest friends also came and celebrated my birthday (31) in a very cold house, in a very cold month, in a very cold year - when we had no heating. So they were brave souls (and god are they great; these are the same friends who have had dinner at midnight as we had no water and no electric one year!). The all survived without frostbite and with good humour. A lot of radiators helped. And blankets. And a fire. And keeping everyone in one large room as much as possible.

After a night out at East Haugh pub we headed home and made a relatively early night of it. Friday can see people a bit knackered after a busy week, and we knew we had to get up early the next day.

When we went CURLING. I know! When told MaYa said, "how terribly ethnic" and she might be right. I think the Scots are mighty fond of 'sports' where you can have a pint, and stop to have a fag, and not really ever get out of breath. Brilliant.

We had almost 2h with an instructor (Claire - brilliant) and just had a great time. I had felt quite apprehensive about waking up in a cold house and then going to stand in a cold place for hours at a time but it worked really well. I'd recommend it to anyone. We did eventually split into 2 teams and have 2 'ends' - it was a pathetic tie. 1-1.

A lovely walk, and lunch (obviously) eventually took us all back home where roaring fires and heaters made it quite nice really. We did all sorts of art activities and just chilled out. All through this TheO was damn ill. She had a cold of epic proportions and was just about managing to stay upright. She even held it all together long enough to put together the epic feast of deli good, fantastic bread, a huge salmon she cooked, and the lobster Teech brought. It was fantastic. We all dined like queens. (Okay, and kings.) Shame TheO had lost the ability to taste all food. :-(

We all parted ways the next day - and managed to entice RF to the gym with tails of hot tubs. So I even fitted in a work out on my birthday. Finally that evening we headed off to see Stephen K Amos in Perth. It was v funny, but - as is always the sodding case, we had seen a lot of the show earlier in the year.

A few lovely lunches catching up with friends we've not seen in a while also made the end of January really great. Being sociable stops you from being quite so introspective and gives me the interaction I desperately need (but am, for reasons I don't understand, incapable of organising myself!).

After a particularly long spell without heating we began to get a little bit hardier, and a lot more worn down. It really took a toll on our collective mood, so it was beyond wonderful when it was finally fixed. However, we have taken further action and 2 sets of stove engineers are now about to furnish us with quotes. Our living room really, really needs more than the small fire can provide. So lets see if they can get us a bit warmer for the rest of the year (whilst simultaneously using a bit less heating).

That was a great welcome to February. A great welcome to 2010 really. People eager to turn up and provide you with a quote. So far we've only had to make one enquiry each, no chasing, no further phone calls, no rubbish. Lets hope they keep it up.

February started with far more promise. We not only discovered a great wee place for lunch in Crieff (Delivino) but TheO, with her incredible style managed to surprise me with a further birthday outing. She took me to Andrew Fairlie. (Her blog does cover this in detail.) This was just brilliant. The best service I've seen anywhere. And some of the best food. A tiny bit lacking in 'show' but not in ability or quality.

This fantastic night also enabled me to get dolled up. Something I do occasionally enjoy. I even put (clear) polish on my nails; but I used it as an opportunity to try out my birthday present from HH. I've been desperate to have some heated rollers for aaaages. My hair is quite flat and doesn't really do much unless I put the effort in. Heated rollers seemed like such an easy way to get a big effect.

OMG do these things work. On dry hair, with a 5min heat up and left in for about 15min I got brilliant curls.

Honestly - these were great curls. And this is a rubbish picture, taken just as I was running out the house; I'm quite happy at this point, but am appearing FURIOUS in this picture! (I'm also wearing the necklace I got as a bday present from TheO... who spoils me, and I don't deserve it.)

So, what with the excellent food, brilliant company, big hair, and too much booze - it was a damn fine night.

I now feel much more like tackling 2010 head on. And it might even be a bit great.

Heat and aching muscles.

The heating has been "fixed". I say "fixed" as there were some horribly unanswered questions, the kind that are always true but deeply frustrating. "Oh, we have about 5 or 6 units in Scotland that break down in winter, yours is one of them, we don't know why!"

Also when your heating engineer suggests you call his mate and have a different boiler/furnace system fitted ... well, let's say we're not that desperate yet but I do spend a considerable amount of time delighted that we only have to pay the bills, we didn't pay to have the world's least useful system (for this house) fitted!

And breathe.

So, in retaliation for being sodding cold I went to the gym today with a mission. A mission to beat my 10K time. And, luckily for humankind as you'd have heard the shrieks of anguish world wide, I kicked my old time's arse. 53.40 (45 seconds off my old time) and this did involve running up a 3% slope for 12.5 mins of this time and a 2% for 12.5 min also. It was a damn hard work out but it felt great.

This week I've managed 13.3 miles which is a huge improvement on the last few months.
I desperately need to kick-start this year.
With the heating off doing anything (apart from waiting for engineers and leaving the house to go somewhere warm) has been pretty impossible. Everything has felt a bit like being on holiday, but not in a good way. You feel you should start the year with a bang or January will be over and then... and then.

So tomorrow - back to some sort of grindstone.
And preparing the house for MaYa her youngest too and MaryPoppins ... a flying visit starts on Sunday and they leave on Wednesday so we'll be lucky enough to celebrate Goose's birthday! My godson - I'm delighted.

Right - make a list for tomorrow and lets get this month started.

ps/ We can't really turn the heating off properly... just in case. Anyone care to imagine how crap the bills will be?

Finally made it back to the gym today after too much fun, frivolity and feasting to go into detail.
It's been a bit of a whirlwind recently and we're not even started on Christmas!
Since I was last here there's been a day in Edinburgh xmas shopping, a circuits class which was ABS HELL, dinner with some village ladies, a murder mystery party (whoo hoo), and, and I tell you - the neighbours took us out for dinner ('cos we looked like we needed feeding up after that lot!).

Everything seems to be slowly coming together. Getting (almost) all the xmas orders done was a real bonus. It feels a little like taking the monkey off my back. I just needed to know they were all where they were supposed to be well before xmas; much better than having nervous and irritated clients calling to 'just make sure' that items will arrive in time. So understandable, I too get a little impatient at this time of year. ... If I've paid for the delivery... I expect delivery in decent time.

Ah well. Today was a day of relaxation. A lie in was called for, then my only plan involved sending off parcels and going for a run.

I managed 10K - the furthest I've gone in 7 weeks (since the dreaded half). And it was quite painless, and rather lovely. Apart from me being a muppet: TheO had jumped out at the post-office and run from there. I'd seen her on my way to the gym. She initially hadn't fancied too long a run so I was sure I'd see her at the gym pretty smartly.

I ran for 4.2 miles (38.25) and got really quite panicy (can often happen to me when I run anyway, think it's a kind of syndrome). It had been almost 40 min since I arrived and she was only 10min from the gym when I passed her. Even taking into account a much longer run it was now really, really dark - and surely she had to come in soon.

Luckily I managed to hold it together mentally (for a bit) as people kept coming into the gym and no-one had that tell-tale look on their face that said "oh my god did you see the mangled and mutilated body of that runner lying by the side of road". My real fear was that, as it was dark, she'd run along the woodland path and was simply fallen and injured.

So thinking that I'd never forgive myself if I 'just finished my run' before searching for her prone body I got off the running machine (this is something that may never have happened before). I made a quick sweep of the changing room, headed outside, and saw a v happy and relaxed TheO running past me. Ascertaining she was absolutely fine, and had waved at me twice (sadly I couldn't see the outside from my position in the gym) I quickly hot footed it inside to finish my run.

I think I was away from the machine for a MAXIMUM of 3 min. So I did my last 2 miles in 18. 18
This gave me a fine total of 56.43 - not bad given I did lots of hills and am a little out of practice.

This week I just have to keep the running up and the eating down. And get the rest of the presents sorted and wrapped. Then I'll be all prepared for Christmas. Oh yes I will.

4 miles

Managed 4 miles in the gym on the treadmill on Tuesday, all on aeroic 1 setting as usual,
then lots of stretching and 10 full on press-ups. no stopping. This rocked.

the run was in 36.40 which pleased me as this was 9.10 a mile and not too strenuous. Also, my achillies is finally feeling as it should - result.

Life is returning to normal - I got some nice work pieces posted out. On time. I've started a new blog, and am feeling the pressure of trying to organise my thoughts on the topic of domesticity. Here it's easy. I come in, I write about running, and then I bugger off again. There, it feels like I should really be quite concise about committing my thoughts to ... screen.

But, much, much, much more excitingly we went to the Highland Wildlife Park today which rocked all sort of socks. We saw the polar bear (in her new and lovely enclosure), the TIGERS and their CUBS, red pandas (which were showing off big time), Elk, Bison, Wild Horses, an otter, Arctic Foxes, Japanese Monkeys, Snowy Owls, and all manner of things with horns related to deer in some way. It was marvellous and I can't wait to return, even if I am a grown-up and have no small children to use as an excuse.

And tomorrow we have a Cheeseboard meet up (yay!) and the next day we have a mystery night away with friends. And my Dad's no longer being detained in Kazakhstan. So a good few days all in all.

Off to bed to watch trashy US crime drama, what more can go right.

It's just a blogging frenzy.

So, I've finally got the whole house clean. This means nothing to you, dear reader, but means a great deal to me. It means peace of mind. Now I can get on with the rest of my to-do list.

But, I'm really here because I went to the gym today. Despite not wanting to. Despite being knackered. But TheO said she didn't want pizza (Tesco Finest Oven pizza, not, sadly, Dominos) if she hadn't worked out. And this thought alone made me say, "Aw, let's just go." She'd done a workout yesterday so wouldn't have felt bad if she'd had a day off... Me, I've been slacking for days.

So I did lots of different things for a change today. (Also I'm nursing what threatens to be a minor achilles injury, it's just a bit stiff and sore in the morning, so I might take it easy on the ole legs for a bit.)

I did:
Reclining Bike (Precor) Fitness Test Setting. This took 10min and told me I had a HIGH level of Fitness (score 38). This pleased me no end.
1 mile run in 9.15 - at 1.5% for the whole way.
10min/2.4miles on the arm bike. Hill Setting, Level 5.

Then TheO moved onto the mat exercises, which is where I was heading, and she started doing press-ups. Not girlie press-ups oh no! Real press-ups. I marvelled at her prowess and then felt a bit jealous. I've never been able to do press-ups. My massive arms are apparently all fat. But as she said, "Go on, give it a go!", my arms suddenly worked. I managed 7 real press-ups in a row and felt like I'd just won xfactor (or something I might actually care about).

I then followed this up with:
6 lifting and crossing leg lift things. (6 each leg)
6 alternate leg/arm raise tummy lifts (6 each leg)
Plank for 1min
3 more press-ups
12 sit ups

It all rocked socks. I did just enough to get a real, massive, endorphin boost and I can't believe I can finally do press-ups. (Although I must work on this so I can do more!)
My reward. PIZZA!

Race Report
Whilst I feel I really, really, really should be cleaning the house... it's now a good time to discuss the past week (or so) and the hideousness that was The Jedburgh Half.

Time 2.24.27 (my time) 2.24.27 (gun time) - there was no chip timing.

9.26
9.24
9.21
I was delighted by these times as the course was fairly rolling over the first few miles.

9.38
10.02
9.39
Total time at 6 miles was 57.32 - which put me spot-on for a PB, my pacing was really working! I knew it was feeling hard, but I also knew I'd worked solidly in preparation and really should just be able to push through.

10.08
Normally I can just about manage to negative split as when I turn around it all comes together and I know that I'm over half way, mentally I find that a great boost.
Here (mile 7) it all went tits-up. The realisation slowly came over me that my legs were sore. The muscles from arse to achilles were all aching. This is not something that had happened before. And just as we turned, and I acknowledged that the elation that normally comes over me at this point is sadly lacking, we were faced with 3 miles of running into a 25-30mph head wind. This began to take the very last of my energy.

From this point on I had to take walking breaks. My legs were just so painful. I desperately wanted to stop but I knew that my friends were waiting in the cold and rain to see me at mile 11. They had got up early (on a desperately needed w/end day) and traipsed through Scotland to be "super supporters". This thought really, really helped. All I wanted, and from now on will carry with me, were some painkillers. If I'd have seen the first aid stop/van I would have flagged them down and begged for anything. Luckily, as I may just have hopped on the van, I never saw them. Definitely a mental note to self to ALWAYS be self reliant in these things. Carry all your own supplies, you never know if what you need/want will be available.

12.01
11.15
13.26
Mile 10 was the worst. Not only because of the wind, but because I really felt like I couldn't finish. I was getting the helpful and supportive comments from both biking marshalls, and all the F**kers who were passing me; people I'd worked so hard to overtake in the first half of the race; people who mentally I had planned to never see again. Whilst I knew they were just being helpful and kind it only made me feel more pathetic and much worse. I wanted to yell at them, "I've done this before; I don't know why it's all gone wrong; I swear I prepared properly!" I just felt like I was being judged as one of the slow fat people at the back who didn't really know what she was doing. I sense this is probably much more a problem in my head than in reality.
All I know is if you've run 10 miles and are in serious pain crying only stops you being able to breathe - so you might as well get your arse in gear and just keep sodding moving.

Now it's not just the fact that it hurts. But normally if a run isn't going well you know it's still only a matter of x minutes until you finish. This run/walk shit meant I didn't even know how long it was going to take me. I couldn't judge and I didn't have any control, which for a self-confessed control freak - was driving me crazy. There was no safe reliance that, "oh well, in 30min this will all be over".

12.22
At the end of mile 11 I saw my friends and it did really give me hope. I'd run up the big hill, as walking that would have been a defeat too far. No matter what the hill I try and run up it. Not only does it give me the smallest amount of satisfaction but it also gets the bloody thing over with faster. They were at their loudest and most embarrassing which makes me blush furiously but also makes me think, "those are my friends they are! And they're yelling for me!" Bless their hearts as I manage the weakest of wave/smile combos and put my head down again.

I knew that from that point onwards I only had 2.1 miles of downhill. I mean, 2.1 miles, DOWNHILL, honestly it should have been a big sigh of relief, and just a gentle unwinding of the the legs as they loped onwards.
11.59
13.44
As you can see from the times. It really wasn't a gentle lope. It was a painful crawl that involved walking at every damn point possible. I don't think I managed to run a full 1/2 mile in a go by this point. Normally the last mile is quite quick for me. Normally I can really push it. Not this time. Not in any way. I kept desperately trying to run but it was just too sore.
1.55 for final .16 of a mile.

So a good 20min slower than I was hoping for I finally finished. The last 7 miles taking me a hideous 1h 27.

I am over this though (despite all evidence). I think I know why it happened which helps: As we went home, via a horrible pub meal (booked my me, to add to my day of shame), I began to feel really bad. The cough which had appeared that morning morphed into flu. (And as a note to TheO who believes what we both had was a 'bad cold' I'll draw your attention to the nhs website... we had ALL the symptoms of flu. Just because we didn't need a doctor does not stop it being flu. Rant over.) I was sick as a dog and much, much more pathetic. Luckily TheO not only stepped-up and looked after me, but she didn't even complain about what a big gayer I was being. She said helpful things like, "Oh I'm sure you feel worse than I felt, you have just run 13 miles" which made me feel a little better... but really, I think it was the kind of flu that just makes anyone feel like shite. Luckily it's almost gone now, just some hideous remnants of cough which make those around me feel like the plague is coming.

Also as we finished our drive I realised I was really, really thirst. Despite a pot of tea and a pint of coke at lunch. I started to sip on my camelbak, the camelbak I had run with; the camelbak I always use and nearly always finish, or nearly finish, during a long run. It was still very, very full. Despite drinking like a fish most of the time there had been something about this race that had stopped me following my usual routine. I think the weather probably didn't help. It was a mixture of hot then really quite cold. The changes stopped any sense of heat build up. Also as I was going more slowly than usual I didn't feel the heat in the same way. But this is not a mistake I'll make again. I don't know how much difference it would have made as I think the 'coming down with something' factor was the biggest influence; but still, I felt like an idiot... I'd caused my own dehydration. Numpty.

Other Stuff:
Now it's been a busy week.
We came back from Jedburgh and had one day before we headed off for TheO's birthday surprise. Now I think she's covered it all v well in her blog. All I'll add is that I am a bit of an idiot and I managed to put myself under too much pressure regarding whether or not she was having a good time. This combined with being still sick as a dog made me a bit tense and crap. Luckily she managed to push through this and have a good time despite me.

The first day of activities was a success - fly fishing (excellent and really, really hard); falconry (bloody amazing and quite unexpectedly brilliant) and carriage driving (bit crap really, horse does it all and you just sit there with the vaguest veneer of control).
Hotel (Monacyle Mhor) was good but lacking in any sense of magic. All was lovely, yet not lovely enough. Very difficult to put my finger on it. Maybe it could never have been as good as I wanted it to be? Ah well. A lovely experience, but not one to rave about. It was a bit marred my not having micro planned enough for the second day. I thought a big long walk, some afternoon tea, a bit of lazing then dinner would do it; but when you both feel like crap that suddenly feels like a terrible idea. So we drove to Loch Lomond and saw some very pretty scenery (Also stopping at an inn to have the worst lunch in Scotland where I was presented with a Baked Potato which was not only hard on the bottom from being mircowaved to death, but came with an enormous pile of chips. I'm Scottish and well used to the concept of a meal composed of starch and starch... but potato and potato was new to me. TheO had a panini where they had made and baked it with lettuce in... lettuce cooked is not a pleasant experience. And this is still nothing compared to the instant coffee topped with squirty cream from a can to make it a 'cappuccino'.). Luckily dinner that night back at the hotel was excellent (albeit with a luke warm main course - AGAIN) and one can always improve your experience with Margaritas. Always.
----
Our return to reality was a very very sharp shock. We both knew it was coming but we really should have planned more. We had one day to plan, shop, decorate and get food sorted for a party of 14 people. Luckily we're a bit practiced at putting ourselves under that sort of pressure and all got done in the end. The house was spookily decorated for Halloween (the back door may now always look like it's been smeared with the blood of our enemies) and the food was either cooked or chopped accordingly.

The day of the party we went to Glasgow as yet another surprise for TheO. This time it was RF who'd organised it all. We went to the BBC Good Food Show and it was excellent. A full day of looking at, tasting and discussing food was marvellous. As was having a driver for the day who doesn't mind dogs clambering all over her car and curling up on coat.
We got back in fine time to put the last touches on the house, extra thanks go to RF who dealt with my rather harsh delegation style with aplomb. (My style tends to the extremes of, "oh no, don't worry about that, I'll do it" to "do this... not like that, my way!" All I can say is that I'm aware of the shortcomings of this manner of instruction and I'm trying to work on it.!

Despite my naysaying all the guests who arrived really did manage to see the house at its spooky best. And we all enjoyed a very relaxed night with guests, food, fire and eventually a lot of poker by the hardy souls who part-ayed until 3.45am.

So since then I've mostly been curled up in a ball trying to both feel better and just chill out. I've managed to tidy, but the house is still looking a little dusty round the edges. So, the obvious answer is to sit and blog for hours on end. And ignore the hoover for another day.

More importantly yesterday saw my first run since the half. It was just a little 5K in the gym (I'm still desperate not to get too cold and horrible).
5K in 28.48 (all 9.22 or faster per mile) all felt quite comfortable, and I used the aerobic 1 setting, which seems to have become a staple, so there were 3 hills of up to 3% giving a little more variety.

Today I have a slightly tight achillies which has responded well to a tubeygrip (sp?), and my leg muscles hurt just a wee bit. This is full-on pathetic... but it still feels nice to have got the first run out of the way. My minor pain is trying to tell me something. I'm desperately hoping that it's trying to tell me that after years of running so slowly that 'warming up' was desperately unnecessary (my running pace was/is slower than most runners would consider their warm-up pace); maybe now I've finally got under some magic minutes-per-mile pace that now necessitates a bit of warming up before hand. That's the most positive spin I can put on being a bit achy after a 5K. And I'm sticking with it.

And it was the most meditative of runs. I knew after the long runs of the past few weeks it was going to feel short, and it really did; I felt I could just switch off and crank out the miles. Good to know it was the race that sucked, not the running.

But enough waffle from me. Adios.

Just a Run

So much has happened over the last 8 days - mostly a whirlwind of family and friends staying. 10 for dinner 3 nights in a row ... who does that sort of thing? TheO (and me)... apparently. Luckily all was wonderful and I do love using the house to its full potential. I occasionally come to this realisation after people have left. The contrast can be quite stark, esp. after 10 days of company.

I love the house mini-margin less when the pump - which brings ALL of our water from the well threatens to give out on us. This gives me palpitations with a house of 10. Luckily plumber comes tomorrow morning. Unluckily plumber probably has to be paid. (Unless we really do live in a mythical place, but I can't imagine the plumber needs jewellery, dog sitting or writing services.)

We celebrated with Islander, MaYa and many weans (both theirs and others) the christening of their 3rd. It was a lovely day with much food (a gut bustingly lovely tea, and a fine supper) and chat.

TheO celebrated her birthday in fine style and we didn't head for bed until 3am on Sat - thereby demonstrating that we are officially NOT OLD. However, knowing that you have to celebrate not going to bed seems to take the shine off the 'not old' thing.

All visitors were in fine fettle and were quite relaxing to have around (apart from the fear of imminent pump-death).

But I didn't really pop in here to talk about any of that. This blog was meant to be about running and has become increasingly domestic. (New blog about such matters due to start... then my faithful readership can split their attention into topics which interest them - rather than hear yet more tails of hoovers and interior designs.)

So, with the running in mind.

On Tues I managed a 4 miler just as the islanders arrived. Just desperately trying to fit in any running is quite hard, particularly when energy is sapped and eating is more structured... But 4 miles was dutifully done in 37.30 avg of 9.23 which made me quite happy, esp as there was a 1mile hill at the start.

But today I managed to do my last long run before the half. 12 miles - OUTSIDE in the quite mild but quite wet weather. After mile 4 I was just loving it. It was a great run where it didn't feel like too much effort (but still hard) and everything flowed. I followed the route to the gym, which does involve some running along a well used B-Road, but it wasn't too bad today.
Managed the 12 in 1.58.28 (9.52 avg - so still a bit down on my inside speed training, but not too shabby) which knocks 2.28 off my last best-ever time. I'm pretty pleased as this is hillier overall than my old route, and any improvement in time makes me happy.

There really is nothing like running outside, and running with a destination rather than just for mileage. I'm fortunate enough to have a partner who'll happily go to the gym when it suits me, rather than them, and then pick me up (almost literally at times). V grateful for this. Destination runs would be almost impossible without her. Now I just need to keep stretching and put loads of Glucosamine gel on my old and aching knees.

Right, plumber coming early, I was only meant to be here for a minute or two to tell you about the run, and I'm knackered. Even more knackered than I was yesterday. Luckily the rest of the week should be quite quiet - only one dinner before the w/end. A v quite week indeed.

Toodle Pip

10 miles

Now this should be a short post as I'm using the lap top, lying on the bed, and seriously giving myself neck strain.

*lies down for a short while*

We've reached a period in time where everything gets genuinely busy. Litt'lest 'phew had a christening party over the w/end, and we've got family staying. Tomorrow MaYa, Islander and the boys arrive, then we had a dinner for 10 on Thursday and another on Friday, and another on Sat.

Then we lie down and chill out for a few days.

But, more importantly let me tell you about the 10 miles.

I had to fit it in on Friday as I knew time was v much against me for the rest of the w/end.

And it was raining, and I needed to push myself so I went to the gym.

1 mile in 9.13 on a dead-flat treadmill

Quick shift to the better treadmill which did make me look a little psychotic, but the dead flat one (I swear it has a negative gradient) is no good for training.

Next 9 miles were done on the aerobic setting, so the machine went up to 3% for 3 hills over the course of those miles, and all but 9min were at 1% or above.

I was delighted by my 1h 32min for the whole thing. (Sadly I don't know how many seconds as the machine doesn't tell you those if you run for over an hour.) I really did push myself but I generally felt quite comfortable. It does suck not to have done it outside. But given the gradient I'm prepared not to beat myself up too badly. I'll just enjoy my new record... a whole 4 min faster than the old one; this sounds great but is really on 15seconds a mile faster.

Still feel like I'm quite on course for the half in 2 weeks time. But know I still have another long run to go before that. And so many other things happening. And dogs coming to stay. And work to be getting on with.

Just thinking about it all makes me want a lie down.

I am however mighty,mighty proud of TheO who went for a 5 miler today. And then managed to only have a small salad for lunch afterwards. That's what I call dedication to the cause.

So now I'm back, somebody new, not that ....

you get the idea.
Roberta is the only way I could return without feeling shame, SHAME I tell you, for abandoning you all in this month of rain and misery.

Now I'm usually quite stoic about weather, it happens, you can't change it, you just have to live with it; but Jeeesus, it has to stop raining soon. No really, anytime would be fine. Sometime before most of the road and some pieces of the house actually float off would be most appreciated.

Now since the run of greatness (see far below) things took a somewhat pear-shaped turn as my bursitis flared up in my hip and I had to both take break from running and cancel running the Coll Half (it has not been a good year for races this year). This means that I've been trying to do a few bits and pieces so as not to lose the fitness.

Managed to swim 1K in the pool - which isn't tiring at the time, but you feel it a few hours afterwards. Also lots, and lots, and lots of dog walking. Have discovered that if I walk them enough they behave like angels in the evening - it's incredible - and fantastic. Definitely 2 long walks a day from now on... oh well, maybe not in the worst bits of winter...

During this time of blogglessness we had a fab w/end with HH, Teech, Spartan and Blarney who even brought the littlest up to see us for the first time (first time here, not first time seeing) and she behaved like an angel - went to the pub, survived a dinner party and was generally adorable. We were also spoilt by the neighbours who turned up with a rifle on Sunday for some target practice and mushrooms, which HH fell upon with glee.

One of our lovely neighbours also fed us last week. A fantastic 3 course dinner with 2 puddings! How did she know. It was fantastic and we managed to get drunk enough to stumble home very slowly at 1am.

Now TheO is away with HH in Copenhaaaaagen enjoying the finest food known to humanity and I am here, blogging, getting some work done and sorting out some housey stuff. Yesterday was a right-off for various reasons (but I'm blaming the rain) so today is going to be much more organised. Oh yes.

Killing one bird with 2 stones.

Now, this could be a post about weight, but sadly there is well more than 2 stone that I'm dragging round as additional ballast.

This post is about the idiot who thought that combining my hill training with my long run would be time well spent. IDIOT. It was time knackering myself. The stats are pretty horrid.
I'll describe the run:
Out of the door and 1.25 miles uphill
Back down again (total 2.5miles)
Then up again
then down again (5 miles)
Then 0.25 miles along a flat section and back (5.5miles)
Then up hill for 0.75 miles
and back down again - 7 miles total.
Was meant to be 8 miles but the hills really did me in. 1.15.00 time. Avg 10.44 (11.54 was my slowest mile - eek)

So, I'm still at least one week behind on my training for the Island Half (which may become the Island 10K... it's been a while since I raced that distance...). But I have managed 17 miles this week and a circuits class (which was shit - taken by new guy who was rubbish).

Also - that time has come again to celebrate another anniversary. It was 3 years since my first ever run yesterday - and I'm still going.

Now last year there was a lot of stuff going on, this year has been quieter-ish.
We really did move house - it only took 2 months longer than expected and there's still plenty to do! We also managed to sell the old place. TheO passed all her exams with flying colours and qualified as a massage therapist. (Lucky, lucky me.)
Got a new nephew and the Cheeseboard had it's first addition (finally a girl!). There was Friends' Christmas, my Dad got married; we went to Santorini, and I developed a love of Gardening and asthma.

So put that way, it really was a quiet year compared to the year before. However it was the year we/I needed. Now I can focus on the future, and work, and a burgeoning love of travel - I'm already planning the next trip...

From a running point of view this year had been pretty shocking. I did the IslandHalf last August but haven't raced since. Mostly due to laziness. Luckily it's the Island that calls me again this year and hopefully that'll kick start the racing again. I've also logged my fastest 5, 8 and 10 mile runs this year so the PBs do keep improving all be it incrementally.

Whilst I haven't blogged as much this year as last year, and I definitely haven't run as many miles - it's fantastic to have a record of everything, and to be able to assess what I've done and how I've done it (slowly and with much winging) a the years pass.

Feeling quite introspective now but I think that's just the endorphins leaving the need for a shower growing. Here's to another year where I might even get the extra ballast shifted too.

Not dead, Juneathon did not kill me. Although it might make me ramble a little.

Well Juneathon seems to have come and gone. I can report than I was a complete blogging failure but my Juneathon exercise stats are getting better.

Last year 10/30
This year 22/30

I'm happy to call this a result! Although I just read a quote that says, "flexible goals lead to mediocrity" - a statement that is all too true; there's nothing like pesky self justification after-the-fact...

Since I last blogged there's been a lot of walking; some in Little Glenshee with Tigger; and an epic 3h explore in Glen Garr which was bloody marvellous, although there was a little breaking-a-path through head high braken that made it less than perfect at the end. The views and complete peace was fantastic when we were in the heart of the glen.

Also walked to the pub one night which was lovely, it's so nice to live somewhere where there's a pub you actually want to go to. Where the food is tasty and the welcome friendly.

A few circuits classes have also been completed, I'm finally feeling like I might be making progress, the (knees down) press-up no longer fills me with dread. Still shit, just not as shit. Arms are definitely feeling stronger. That and I keep using them for gardening!

The garden in question is slowly, slowly getting a little bit clearer. The work to do is so enormous I only tackle a little piece at a time, and just enjoy the flowers and being outside. TheO is doing the veg patch so we might even get some food from the wilderness. People are beginning to walk in and comment on some bits that look nice though, which definitely lifts the spirits.

Had a fantastic BBQ w/end a few weeks ago with many friends and even some family. Those who were here for the whole w/end went shooting (clays) and pottered about in a boat on Loch Tay. It was a ridiculously "Perthshire" w/end. Marvellous in every way, and the BBQ and wicker man all worked a treat, friends, family and neighbours all mingled very happily. There's nothing like previously calm friends attacking a pinata with coloured sticks! Even the calm can appear to lose their minds. I will add that the shooting was particularly brilliant and I can't wait to do it on a regular basis. I need a gun licence, and a gun!

On a sadder note the dogs had a horrid fight (again) - it was a week ago now, and Golden dog still has a huge gash on her leg (despite vet intervention). She's such a cutie and doesn't deserve it. And damn it, the black dog is still adorable to us... ah well, life carries on as it ever did.

I've also been running more, which does nothing less than make me a MUCH happier person. It's so ridiculous; all I have to do is go for a run to be in a good mood (ok, the run has to be somewhere below disasterous).
I managed a 5 miler that was fine; a 10K in the gym which was damn fine (59.13), a horrible 5miler outside when it was so hot and heavy that I made it 2.5miles, had a 5min rest and ran home. NOTE TO SELF: when it's summer, and hot, and horrid, remember to take your preventative inhaler before going on a run, also remember to take your antihistimines. OR YOU WILL DIE. The less said about that run the better. I think I melted and sneezed myself to death simultaneously.

Today it was still a bit hot, and I'm a wuss, so I went for a run in the gym. 8 miles completed! Also my best ever time, 1.16.29. The machine was on 1% for the whole time, and I just toggled the speed between 9.40 and 9.13. Hard, and I will ache tomorrow; but definitely worth it. Proper distance running definitely fills my heart with joy. All the 3 and 4 mile runs just don't do it, they don't provide the same sense of completion and the same rush. The endorphins really get going after about 5 miles. Joy, joy, joy. (Even if I did consider going to bed at 10.06pm.)

TheO managed to cover the dinner we went to with our neighbours. We'll call him Tay and her Pickle. They were giving us a lovely 7lb salmon in thanks for past dinners and BBQ event. We were lacking in a freezer that would hold such a beast - so they set up a dinner party which was not only delicious but very good fun. We drank FAR too much and rolled home at 1.30. Luckily no apologies had to be made, but my liver may never recover. TheO manged to, very temporarily, have a little nap on the bathroom floor. Sadly I'd already passed out in bed, after forcing us to drink pints of water and eat some toast - a hangover is all in the planning!

Also - and quite finally for this huge catch-up, managed to fit in a nice, little lunch with Dr in Edinburgh, then we went to see Spartan and Blarney and Babybelle - I am delighted to report that they are not only alive (contrary to what phone and text silence would imply!) but seem to be doing wonderfully. For people who are still about to move house, and got themselves a new wain 3 weeks ago, they are coping like pros. Babybelle is alive, adorable, and always dressed beautifully. I'm reliably informed (and can feel the difference) that she's also gaining weight just like the little bloater should. Parents are looking human and able to make conversation on a number of topics, this is surely even better than can be expected at this point in time. I'm sure with a little more sleep they'll be partying like they always have. (Just a few friends, scattegories, and a little glass of wine.)

Tomorrow is a trip down the coast to Sangsters for lunch with Neighbours. Should be delighted. If I can walk after the run.

**Quick mini edit - just discovered that my fastest ever 8 miles is exactly a year after my last fastest ever 8 miles. Bizarrely feels like quite quantifiable progress.**